Tornadoes

I have never seen a tornado in person. I am sure that I don't understand the intensity of those even seen on movies or TV. You can read about them and know that they are nature's most violent storm but there are family, friends, other amazing people who have actually had to live through such a heartbreaking ordeal. They cause fatalities. They devastate neighborhoods in seconds.

Now think of your own devastating tornadoes. The tornadoes of life. It may be divorce, loss of a loved one, sickness, a car accident, losing a job, cancer. It could even be breaking up with a boyfriend, not being able to keep up on the housework, failing a class. There are so many different degrees of tornadoes; F0-F5 and they can have a halting effect on each individual person.

But in life there is not a national weather service to determine where your tornado fits on the scale. Maybe it would be easier if there was a report stating that you are currently going through an F4 tornado. But life isn't that simple. We could both experience that same tornado but I walked away with minimum damage and your home got destroyed. Every single trial, mishap and hardship is like this.

I have met some amazing women and families that have lost children; as a stillborn, after living a few hours or even well into their childhood. And every single one of us deal with it differently. It's torn apart relationships, it has brought others together. I am part of a support group for those that have experienced an AFE in their life. It's shattering. Our storms range from both Mother and child surviving to families losing both to permanent neurological damage to children suffering as a result. Going through the adoption process; I have met many that have had failed adoptions, successful adoptions, or even waited years.

Four enormous things that I have learned through these events and am currently trying to do....

1. We never know what storms someone else is going through.
    The thing about trials, is that not all of them are outwardly noticeable like a tornado cutting through your neighborhood. There have been times when friends of mine have been going through the hardest times of their lives and I did not even know. We all have stories of when we really didn't think we'd make it to the next day and someone dropped off a plate of cookies or sent you a text just because. Now I can attest that life is busy. There are days that my kids don't even make it out of their pajamas. But everyone can do something. I want to be that person that lightens someone's day, even just a little bit. I want to be that person that is kind to everyone, no matter how kind (or not) they are. I want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I want to smile at a stranger every single day.

2. Happiness is a choice.
     Now I'll tell you what... it is not an easy choice. There are days that I could stay inside all day. In my bed. But I notice the days that I serve my littles or the people in my life, are days that I'm not all that depressed. As we lose ourselves by serving others, we discover our own happiness. We see the joy that we bring to those who are in need and that joy can't help but bounce back on us. Now there may be some times that it goes unnoticed, anonymous or even the people we intended it for won't be grateful. But just the act of turning away from our own internal battles and turning towards someone else can help us truly feel joy.

     I have a distinctly different point of view than most because I have lost two very precious souls in my life and escaped death. There is not a day that goes by that I can't count my blessings. I've been given the gift to see the world as such a beautiful place. I can't take things for granted because I almost lost it all and I cherish my kids on earth because I have two in Heaven. Now, obviously, I am no where near perfect and I'm not saying the days aren't hard sometimes but I am grateful for the knowledge I have to repent and try again to be kind the next day or influence someone on a positive note. And I can truly say that I am happy.

3. Know your limits but stretch them.
    I still feel like there are times that my body is just not where it should be after my AFE. I'm still recovering physically and emotionally from losing my boys. So I do have to set limits for myself. I know how hard I can push myself every day but I never overdo it. I have learned to say no when necessary and then make up for that 10 fold on the good days. However, I now love to try new things and stretch myself outside of my comfort zone.

    For instance, if you knew me when Josh and I first got married you would probably describe me as quiet, kind but someone who stays in the background. Josh and I taught a marriage and family prep class for our church and I'm pretty sure I said two words the entire time- and that was when Josh was out of town on a baseball trip. I just didn't like putting myself out there, it made me very anxious. I didn't go out of my way to make new friends, or welcome new members. I tried to stay in as much as possible. Now I realize how short life is. How I only survived some days because of my neighbors and friends. One smile would change my entire day. A new face would remind me that there are so many good people in this world where tornadoes happen. Honestly, I stretch myself every day to be a constant happy, welcoming person. And it's making me a better, happier person.

4. Love your body.
  I'm sure you have all heard the saying that you are a tiger and have earned your stripes? AMEN! Love everything about yourself- your scars, layers, structure, feet. I love reading different articles that have come out on this subject. Our bodies are some seriously exquisite things. Mine has grown 3 beautiful kids. Mine fought to keep me alive. Mine manages the pain of blood clots. Mine has scars and extra skin and love handles and veiny legs.

But I am grateful for it because I am here today. Those lovely love handles remind me that I have amazingly gorgeous kids. The scars remind me every day that I survived, I am a warrior. And most of all, my Heavenly Father loves me and trusts me with this body. He wants us to be happy in all our uniqueness. He is proud of what our bodies do and look like. And he loves us, he wants us to love ourselves!

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Everyday there are hundreds, thousands of tornadoes in your life, family and neighborhood alone. Be conscious about those around you, choose to be happy, stretch yourself to be a better person every day and LOVE the way you look and who you are! This world is great. Today is great. You are alive and beautiful!!!