Josh. Cali. McKallister. Oakland. Quincy. Camden. Murphy.

Get To

Thursday, July 19, 2012

A man by the name of Frank lives by two simple words. These words have been my past month and a half, even though I didn't realize it until I heard them. I know when you experience life changing moments, you live differently for a time. I hope I can always live my life around these two words as it has made me happier than I could realize- even being hospitalized, bed ridden, sore, sad, hurt, and scared.

Get to.

They remind us to be grateful for everything. "Instead of saying, 'I have to go to work today', Frank tells himself, 'I get to go to work'. Instead of saying, 'I have to get groceries,' he gets to. Instead of saying, 'I have to take the kids to baseball practice,' he gets to. It works for everything". I have done this most with small tasks that are harder for me than I think they should be. I get to. And aside from the smaller things- I get to watch Oak grow up. I get to be a mom and all that comes with it, cleaning, cooking, laundry, taking the kids to practice, shopping for them. I get to teach Oakland how to pray, serve, love. I get to have two perfect little boys...I get to adopt.

Every day I'm getting stronger. I don't sleep as much, I get to help Oakland with a few things throughout the day and even have done some laundry by myself. I know they seem so small but to me they are huge steps. Josh and I have "story time" each night because I am so curious about everything. When did people arrive at our house- police chief, paramedics, air med, our Bishop, his wife who took Oakland for us- what was Oakland's reaction, who did he call first after 911, how he made the decisions he did, who spent the most time with him at the hospital, was he scared... The more I learn, the more I realize how close I was to not coming back. A lot of people know more about the situation than I do, I simply don't remember. From being sedated, maybe. Maybe from being protected as most things you would not want to remember. My body went through a lot.

I got a miracle. And I'm not wasting a minute of it.

Original post by Me

My Life... Forever Changed

Friday, July 6, 2012

Josh turned to me the other day on the ride home from one of my hospital visits and just started laughing! I asked him what was so funny and he said, "You are not even supposed to be alive right now and here you are, holding my hand..."

I don't quite know how to put in to words what has been going on the last month. I feel a whole bunch of emotions that I don't know how to place, I'm still focused on my physical health, I'm worried about everyone around me, and I still don't have a great memory of the events that happened. I remember Saturday night at the lake with my family and then dinner that night with Josh and Oakland, after that I couldn't say what happened until around Thursday. And even then, it's foggy. Everyone says that is a good thing- that I don't remember- but it's frustrating. I have a hard time watching my family re-live it. I wish I could take those memories away from them.

I watch Josh talk about everything and wonder how I got so lucky as to have him and the respect I feel for him. He literally saved my life and then was there with me during every hard moment I had to face from there on out. My parents dropped everything they had going on to be with me at the hospital, to make sure I wasn't scared, to talk to me, to help me. I think of family that watched Oakland, checked in on Josh and I. Neighbors that made meals, everyone that helped out with the yard sale, cards we received, flowers, things to cheer me up and make my hospital stay so much better. Prayers, fasting, blessings, service... all I can do is cry. Out of thankfulness, out of loving admiration, how I will always cherish those people.

My past few weeks have been filled with words like; amniotic embolism, cardiac arrest, flat line, blood clots, loss, transfusions, surgeries, IV's, cat scans, x-rays, ultrasounds, ICU, oxygen, medication, blood work, healing, scared, seizures, unstable, needles, life flight, nurses, doctors, emergency, physical therapy, bruises, and hurt.

They have now turned in to; miracles, blessing, prayers, love, affection, unforgettable, appreciation, fondness, respect, friendship, tenderness, family, memories, caring, help, support, cherish, adore, eternity, consideration, unselfishness, service, trust, the spirit, sacrifice, and commitment.

I still have such a long way to go, both physical recovery and emotionally. I miss Quincy, Mac, not being able to have anymore children. I want them both so bad. I want to have a baby to hold and love. I'm scared of what the future will bring. But then I think of all my friends and family and know I can do it. If Josh and Oakland can be as strong as they have been through all of this, I can pull through. I'm not saying it won't be tough. But I have the greatest little family. I'm so in love with Josh. I think the world of Oakland. I'm crazy about my two little boys. So... somehow I know we'll get through. While Josh was in awe over me being alive, able to hold his hand- I'm just grateful that I have the privilege to live another day, watch Oakland grow up, be able to kiss Josh anytime I want. My outlook on life has forever been changed. I hope I can make it for the good.

Original post by Me

...and again...and one more time!!!

Cali must really like the emergency room because she's been back, again!  This time for bleeding issues.  She has had this trouble on and off throughout her long hospital stay and started bleeding again the day after getting home from the hospital with the blood clot.  The next day she started passing clots, some as big as my thumb.  By the next day the clots were so big you could hear them splash in the toilet (sorry for the graphic details, but they were huge!!)  so off to the ER again she went.  They found a hole / tear in her vaginal wall that at first they talked about cauterizing closed, but then after getting some more opinions they decided to let it heal itself.  So 6 hours later she was home. 

It's a good thing, too because the 4th of July is my kids' favorite holiday!  Yeah... even before Christmas.  We do the same thing year after year, and if I try to change it up I get an earful.  We relax throughout the day, then have a BBQ for dinner and I'm expected to make a potato salad.  Then off to JHS to watch the city's fireworks where we meet up with the neighbors and more extended family.  Then we come back home, do our own fireworks in the street while eating homemade ice cream.  That's it.  But the relaxing day, the family, the fun and tradition have made this day special for all of my kids. 

But not before we had to get Cali to Instacare!  She woke up with a really bad lower back pain.  Sure enough, she has a urinary tract infection!  Pop her some pills, give her a heating pad and prop her up in the jeep to watch the fireworks and she was good to go.  It made her really tired but since then she's doing a bit better everyday!!

When Cali went to the ER for bleeding, the gentleman that came in to start an IV looked her up and down and said, "You look like you've been in a battle!"  It took 4 pokes before he finally was able to get a line in.  He left, but came back in a minute later.  "I know who you are!  You're Jo Nolast!  I sat with you during your CT scan the first time you came in.  Do you mind if we talk about it?"  He then told her how he had been eating lunch on that Sunday when the charge nurse came in telling everyone they had a trauma coming.  He said he really gets excited for traumas because it gets his adrenaline going and helps the time fly.  The charge nurse knows this and said, "Don't get excited this time.  This is a 24 year old pregnant woman that is 20 weeks pregnant and isn't going to make it."  "And now here I am sitting here talking to you!!!"  She truly has baffled the medical world, and we are so grateful.

We had all our kids with us, a few extra dogs, good food and our 4th of July was awesome!

Original post by Natalie
site design by designer blogs