Why do the hardest days seem to last the longest? And the difficult weeks never end?

The past 2 weeks my emotions have been literally thrown all over the scale...

Panic. Helplessness. I watched a dear friend go through the devastation of losing her baby at 16 weeks gestation. A little boy, named Sky. When I first found out, I could still hear the echoes from the days I lost both of mine. It was overwhelming to want to help her so intensely but know she may want the space. I wanted to hold her and sob but then I needed to show strength. I know that you don't ever recover, you just survive so my heart was breaking for her. I wanted to take it all away. I didn't want her to suffer, or have to feel the want of a baby. There is still so much I want to tell her, mostly about my testimony. Our Heavenly Father knows that we are touch enough. And that little boy is lucky to have her as his Mom because she is exceptional.

Anxious. Then Oakland started preschool. I have to admit that I rely way too much on her 4 year old self. She has pulled me through my hardest days and given me the comforting words I've needed when I have been down. She has allowed me to cry on her shoulder while assuring me that everything would be ok. It is hard for me to let her go for those 7 1/2 hours a week because she is my best little friend and my emotional stability. Can I get through those hours without her?

Sad. Another dear friends, friend lost her 15 month old daughter. I don't know them personally but ache for them. I want to donate all the money in the world to help with medical and funeral costs to help ease the stress, however, know that will not free them from the pain in the hearts. #bubblesforellie

Excited. Grateful. I met the dispatchers that took part in saving my life. Have you ever had someone actually be the reason you are alive today? It is an overpowering feeling. And I had almost every single one in the same room as me this past week. Josh, who was home, called 911 and did CPR. Courtney, who walked Josh through CPR, ensuring the lack of neurological damage I have today. Yvonne, who immediately requested air support, guaranteeing my Girls the time they needed to get me the appropriate medical help. Amanda, who's quick decision to intubate me secured my quick transport to the hospital and again kept my brain in tact. Windi, who used her knowledge to suggest an AFE and then save me emotionally, to this day. This week, I will write a detailed post about that day, but it was beyond anything you could imagine. And very emotional.

Scared. Another friend has been holding her breath the past 15 weeks about her pregnancy. My mind has been going crazy with fear until this past week where she learned that her 1 in 4 chance of losing her baby was leaning towards the happy outcome. She has already lost two little ones that hold a very special place in my heart because of what their Mama has taught me and the friendship we sparked because of them.

Happy. Every moment was worth it because I have people who genuinely care about me and who I would do anything for. I know we will be with our families again. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and will always be there during my hard times. I know that no matter the emotional roller coaster we are on, our Savior understands and will help us through it. Helen Keller once said, "Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming it." These weeks have proven that to me- there are some strong families and women in our midst.